Back in time.

Do you ever have those moments that take you back in time? A moment so reminiscent of a fond memory that when it occurs, you somehow feel the way you did 20-something years ago? I love when that happens. It just feels good. That is how I felt playing with my kids in Aunt Carol's backyard. The air had just a hint of chill in it, there was plenty of laughter and feel-good feelings, just like when I was a kiddo playing in that same backyard, with the people I love, summer after summer. We love you Aunt Carol and Uncle Joe.

The Treehouse.

The Treehouse Children's Museum in Ogden was a field trip favorite.
I must admit, I could spend hours there. How I wish we had one here.

Chick-Fil-A

My mom and I took the kiddos on a field trip to Utah. Our first stop: Chick-fil-a. Without one in the entire state of Idaho, we have serious cravings and think we need a party platter just for us. It was divine.

Mother's Day.

Mother's Day. The day I get handmade cards and tissue paper flowers, homemade crafts, and lots of I love you Mom papers. Man, I love it.

It is also a day of self-reflection for me. A day that I sit and wonder if I am the kind of mom I thought I would be. Remember, I am the girl who dreamed of being a mom from the time I was little, and I mean little. I remember holding those foster babies we used to have when I was 6 years old and I just knew I was born to be a mom. I remember holding my own little brother that was born when I was 8 and I knew again that nothing could be better than being a mom. As I grew up and could babysit, man I loved holding and taking care of other people's children. Again, I dreamed of the day I would have my own. I had names for my babies and I could envision myself rocking away hours holding my own little babies.

I got my dream. I got 4 of them. And they were more perfect than I could have imagined.

But now my babies are getting older. My baby is almost 4. My oldest turns 11 this year. And being a mom is getting more difficult. I could take care of babies. It was like breathing to me. Big kids have more needs than babies do. And I am no longer that confident mama. I never knew I would worry so much if my kids had friends or if they would do well in school. I never knew how much time I would spend wondering if they would choose the right. No one told me that even though my mom was calm and patient that I would have to work at that. Or if they did I was not listening because I didn't think it could be that hard. My mom never raised her voice. I use that too loud voice way too much. My mom always thought of others first. I find myself thinking of me more than I should. I was not prepared for the nights that I would go to bed wondering if I had broken their hearts, shattered their dreams, or damaged their self-confidence. At the same time, I never could have been prepared for the way they forgive me and love me. It truly is an amazing thing. No matter the kind of mom I am one day, they still throw their arms around me and tell me they love me. They give me hope that I can be that kind of mom that I always dreamed of. The kind of mom that I still dream of.

I have been so blessed. I am thankful for all the great examples of mothers that I have in my life. My own mom, my mother-in-law, grandmothers, and dear friends. thank you for your examples. You inspire me. You keep me going. I am thankful for a husband that helps me be a better mom. Who reminds me that I am capable. Who patiently points out the good things I do when I have a hard time seeing them.

So on this Mothers Day I can honestly say that I am living my dream. I am not the person yet that I was in my dream. But my family gives me hope that I can be. Seriously, these kiddos I have are amazing. It is good for me to sit and think about that. To relish in the fact that I have been blessed with 4 incredible children. I need to slow it down and just enjoy each day.

To my kiddos.....thank you for giving me my dream.

XOXO

13 years.

Today is my anniversary. 13 years. Josh was my best friend back in 1996 and he is still my best friend. Cliche maybe, but totally true. I always dreamed of being married and having a family. It was what I wanted more than anything for as long as I can remember. You know, the happily ever after. And I have been living that dream for 13 years now and I'm pretty sure its better than I could have imagined.
I love that he would rather spend time with me than anyone else. I love that we both love to eat the same kinds of food, love the same kind of music, love the same tv shows and love to watch movies. I'm sure that is not an essential component in a marriage, but it sure makes it fun. I love that we put the kids to bed early and have little dates several times a week, even if it is just tv and a snack.
I love that Josh never goes a day without saying he loves me. I love that he calls me or emails me during the day just to say hi. I love that he listens to me blab about whatever, and I love that he likes to blab back at me. Back when we were dating we could talk for hours. Nothing has changed. We still talk for hours and I love it.

Happy Anniversary Lover.
XOXO

*I realize I need some photos here. I'll get some posted.

Incentive.

For as long as I can remember, I have been trying to come up with some way to motivate Mitchel to read. I can't even remember all the things I have tried to bribe that kid with. AR points and rewards at school mean nothing to him. We haven't even been able to find a book that seems to interest him. And believe me, we've tried millions. Justin reads like crazy and is always offering suggestions, but they don't work either. I really want him to be a reader. I know he is plenty capable, he just doesn't care. I just knew that if I could find the right book or the right incentive, and he would complete a book he liked, he'd be hooked. At least this was my hope. Well, a few weeks ago, I came up with an idea. I hadn't even been thinking about this, but when I was tucking him in one night, it just came to me. I told Mitchel that I would take him to Perkins for breakfast if he completed a book, and passed an AR test on it at school. He was sold. He loves eating out, breakfast is his favorite, and he loves one on one time. What could be better?? I gave him two weeks, but he was ready in one! He found a book at the school library, read the whole thing (a few chapters with me snuggled up at night) and then passed the AR test. I couldn't believe it! We had a great breakfast, just the two of us. Now Mitchel is reading another book from the same author. He may not be "hooked" yet, but he likes an author and he is reading. And hey, I could get used to Perkins breakfasts every Saturday.

Easter Egg Hunt.

Easter weekend actually came with decent weather this year. My parents held a grand Easter Egg Hunt at their house for my kids. It was such fun. They have a large yard with lots of trees, fences, rocks, and numerous other hiding places. Each child had a certain color egg they were hunting for - allowing the younger kiddos to find eggs without the big kids getting them all! There were also patterned eggs and eggs of different colors and special eggs with dollar bills in them that were for anyone that found them. I think each child had a least 30 eggs to find. They ran, hunted, giggled and squealed.
Thanks grandma and granddaddy!






*I did not leave out Justin in all my pictures....he was at home in bed with a fever....