uninterrupted sleep.

I don't have a newborn. All of my kids sleep in regular beds. Yet, it is still rare when I get a night that I do not have to get up and tend to someone. One some nights, I get extra lucky and more than one kid are in need of something.

Take last night for example. Justin can't sleep. He comes into my room ( I have no idea what time b/c I didn't put on my glasses and look at the clock!) and lets me know this. I was totally out and kind of remember telling him to turn on his light or music or to just go back to bed and try again. Some time later he returned, still unable to sleep. I am not sure if he asked or I told him to just crash on my floor. But, that is where I found him later on in the night when another little guy awakened me.

Coleman came in at some point. I just let him crawl in the bed. It was my intention to let him lay there for a moment and then take him back to his bed. I fell asleep and woke up sometime later when he was crowding me! I don't know how long he had been there. When I climbed out of bed and scooped him up, I almost stepped on Justin who was on my floor. When I returned from putting Coleman back in his bed, I told Justin to go back to his.

At some point Ashley also came in. I don't remember if it was before or after my interactions with the boys, but she was scared. She informed me that I had forgotten to lock the sliding glass door and I needed to do it. So I got back up and locked the door. She is very concerned about the doors. I feel bad that I scared her. Every night she asks me if I have locked all the doors. Often times she gets up and checks herself before she goes to bed. I want to tell her that we live in a safe place and there are no bad guys. But there are times when I want to tell her there are bad guys and that is why we don't ride our bike off alone, etc. I don't want to scare her, I want her to know we live here in part b/c I feel safe in this small town, but we can't be ignorant either. So hard this parenting thing....

Mitchel managed to stay in his bed all night. I guess that is because he woke up the night before with leg aches. :)

At one point I looked on my phone by my bed and it was 2. and another time it was 4. The other times I didn't bother checking. I am not sure who was when, I just know that I was tired and probably not talking any sense to my little ones. When I remember back to waking my mom up when I had a bad dream or leg ache or whatever the ailment was, my mom always was so nice and friendly like it was the middle of the day. I was always sure to tip toe to her side so as not to wake the daddy bear. my kids too come to my side but I am afraid I am not always smiling and happy and so loving. I need to remember how comforting it felt to have my mom show me so much affection and kindness, even in the middle of the night. I want my kids to feel the same thing. I'm just so out of it. And other times, I don't like being bothered - I just want me some uninterrupted sleep!